Language

I had a very personal revelation today, and I thought it would be best to share it. Just before I dozed off on my couch this afternoon, after a big morning of packing, I thought back to a clip that I seen in the movie "Hurt Locker" last night. I went back to a scene where the main character was sitting in the middle of a road screaming at a Iraqi citizen because he was driving on a closed  road. The citizen was sitting there staring at the main character with the blankest stare imaginable. That stuck with me, I wondered that evening, and then later right before a nap today about that moment. What were both those men thinking, what lead them to make the decisions they were making.  It brought me then to my own life, and the experiences I am about to embark on. I started to put myself in little everyday moments during our trip, specifically Italy. I don't use them for any other purpose than Christy took Italian in high school so she would obviously have more of a reference than I. So, I started to think of the moments of interaction with locals, the way it would go down, the scenarios, anything. One distinct constant was that Christy would obviously be doing a majority of the communicating while I tired to learn, (learn while doing of course) but still people need to know where the bathroom is, ya know?!
  So, I continued on with these scenarios to try and think how I would be looked at by the locals..Most likely, "Oh ignorant man, not cultured, doesn't even know how to get along here." How someone would feel knowing that would be a tremendous hit to a mans ego. Thinking that as a man, I am capable of anything, I can conquer the world, but now I cant even find my way around a town.. Humbling... That started to make me realize how are culture as a whole treats immigrants or minorities.( I will interject myself here and say that I personally know a high percentage of people who do not think this way and would find it personally offending to even be lumped in with that category, but the sad fact is that our history speaks for itself and we as a nation have been very intolerable towards difference.) So to bring it back to what I was saying, I started to get a real feel for the manifested ceiling of doubt and inequality that a person must break through to try and feel apart of our culture and to be an 'American'.  That through only simple movements of the mouth can walls be built up so wide between two people and the feelings they are trying to express can lead to so much pain. That finally brought me back to the scene in the movie. The two men only a few feet from one another, almost close enough to just lay a touch of compassion on the others shoulder as if to say it is ok, I am scared too. This wasn't the case, the citizen in the car I imagined was so struck with fear and self doubt about how to communicate that he may have only made a simple mistake by turning down the wrong street and was simply frozen with the fear of an American who is occupying his country and staring him down at gunpoint yelling at him with things he does not understand. Likewise, the solider yelling loudly only so that he can intimidate the man like a lion over his prey. But only knowing in his head that he is just a scared because he is a million miles away from his son, and doesn't know how to express that he cannot handle it anymore and jut simply wants any way to get out of here. Both these men so close physically, stricken with fear, but so far away from each other in understanding that. A virtual concrete wall of fear and unknown between then that cannot be broken.. This was an eye opening experience for me, because it makes me affirm the gestation period of this journey I am on. I am mentally accumulating the tools I will need in order to function and grow with everyday that we explore, and maintain growth periods. This will be something on going that I will be exploring and reflecting on as our trip unfolds, and I would thank you all for bearing with me through it, while you wait for movie clips of me  doing dumb things to embarrass us on our trip.. Have a good night and happy new year.